Indy vs. Harry

This weekend my mom had a problem.

"Mo, I don't know what I'm going to do. ABC family is having Harry Potter weekend and SyFy is having an Indiana Jones marathon."

"Mom, that's like Sophie's Choice."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

Oh Mom... choose... but choose wisely. While the true choice with bring you eternal joy, the false one will take it from you...

I come from a family of nerds... and I love it.

Sense and Sensibility

"I watched my Netflix movie."

"What was it?"

"Oh.... it was like that one I liked last week, but different. Oh shoot..."

"Pride and Prejudice was last week."

"Oh! Sense and Sensibility! That's it."

"And?"

"Mo, it had so many Harry Potter people in it! It had that lady who plays the mean professor in the pink and Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman... Snape. It was made before Harry Potter, in 1995, but you are right - everyone is in Harry Potter."

"Well, all English actors are in Harry Potter."

"It was great. Didn't Jane Austen write both of them? That must be why I like them. And all my favorite people are in them."

NOTE TO HOLLYWOOD: Make a movie with a Harry Potter actor in it, and my mom will love it. GUARANTEED*

*that is, of course, unless your film includes harsh language, graphic sex, amoral characters, or an unhappy ending.

Pride & Prejudice

"I watched my Netflix movie."

"Oh, what was it?"

"Pride and Prejudice."

"And?"

"I liked it. At least he got most of his daughters married off. Even if one of them was a jackass*. I was telling grandma about it and when I told her Donald Sutherland was in it she said, 'He's old!' Your grandma is hilarious."

"I love her so much."

"And who was the actor who played Mr. Darcy?"

"I forget his name."

"He had a way about him. I guess I'm just a sucker for blue eyes."

"Oh really, mother?"

*My mom probably used the word "jerk," but I can't be sure. She also may have said that Keira Knightley is too skinny, but I was really tired.

Marley & Me

"You were wrong about Marley & Me, Mo. It didn't make me want a puppy."

"It didn't? I assumed it would. I haven't actually seen it; I was guessing."

"It was sad and the dog was a handful. I think I like Owen Wilson, but he always looks like his nose is broken."

"That's probably because it has been. It's his face."

"Oh. And Jennifer Aniston was okay. Normally I'm not a fan, but she was okay."

"Well that's good I guess."

"It was sad."

"Yeah, I kind of figured."

Water for Elephants {SPOILERS}

"Mo, you were right about Water for Elephants. It as good, but there was something about Reese that was off."

"Yeah, she had no chemistry with RPattz."

"Yeah, and in the book, they make it clear that August is truly insane, but in the movie he just comes off as sadistic. And I missed the nursing home scenes. I guess it would have made it longer."

"I agree, mom. It was good but not as good as the book, but that's always the way it is."

"Yeah, it's kind of shame. It was good. Didn't you just love Rosie?"

"It made me want a pet elephant. The thing with the lemonade? Brilliant."

"Yeah and she was a lush! Who understands Polish."

"I'm glad you liked it, Mom. Happy Mothers' Day!"

"Thanks, Moey."

Atlas Shrugged

"Mo, Sally* asked me to go see a movie with her on Friday."

"What movie?"

"Atlas or Alice Shrugged? Is that right?"

"Oh, Atlas Shrugged. I didn't know that was out yet."

"So it's 'Alice' like a woman's name?"

"No, it's 'Atlas' like a book of maps."

"And 'shrugged'?"

"Like 'I shrug my shoulders, but I already did it, so it's past tense.'"

"Well, that doesn't make any sense."

"Mom, it's an Ayn Rand book, I don't think it's supposed to make sense."

"Well I'll let you know how it is so you can update your blog."

"Thanks, mom."

I love that my mom likes to be blogged about. I also love that I have a cool mom that sees weird independent movies. That's, like, 2 independent movies she's seen in the theater in less than a month (Atlas Shrugged, Jane Eyre). I love how it's only after I've moved 2000 miles away that she goes to movies more often and more obscure than she ever would before. She has fallen in love with British series on BBC America and she's been reading Entertainment Weekly and referring to it in conversation with me (She has a life-long subscription to EW and Rolling Stone that I will never understand. They just started coming in her name to the house 6 years ago and haven't stopped since). My mom is way more with-it than I ever realized or give her credit for.

So, then she saw the movie:

"It was good."

"Yeah?"

"Well, it was better than I thought it would be... I'll put it that way."

"Well Mom, that's good, right?"

"Yeah and there was a blonde in it that I've seen in something before."

"Who?"

"I don't know her name. I think she was a nurse on a show that was cancelled. maybe on NBC?"

"Maybe it was 'Mercy'?"

"I don't know. She was the nurse with the drinking problem. Was that on 'Mercy'?"

"I didn't watch that show because it sucked, but it was probably that."

"Oh, well, yeah. Probably."

A search on imdb.com proves that my mom is right. I'm not sure about the drinking problem, but that 'Mercy' chick was in the movie.

*not her real name.

A Very Special Guest Reviewer

I talked to my grandma on the phone yesterday. This is a very rare thing because with the time difference our schedules tend to be out of sync. She did review a movie...

"Maureen, have you seen the movie In Open Country?"

"No... what's it about?"

"Well, it has someone called T-O-P-H-E-R Grace in it. Is he a big star?"

"I know who that is. He's a kind of known actor."

"Well, it's about people at a work place and who's sleeping with who, who's going to get fired, who's selling more stuff..."

"Did you like it?"

"I was the only one who showed up to watch it. It was okay."

"Grandma, you're VIP. It's like you had your own private movie screening."

"I suppose so. It was just okay, though."

After thinking about this, I realized that my grandma had seen the movie In Good Company starring Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace, and Scarlett Johansson. In all honesty, her review is pretty spot-on.