Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

"Hi Mom, just calling to say 'goodnight.'"

"I wish it was good night. I'm watching my netflix movie and I wish it was over."

"Oh. What is it?"

"'Money Never Sleeps.' I'm not liking it."

My Mom Loves British People

My mom watched "Red" this past weekend and she really likes Helen Mirren. I'm not sure when this love affair began, and I'm kind of shocked that it happened because Helen Mirren is not in any Harry Potter movies. I think my mom saw "The Queen" and liked it, but I think I remember her raving to me about "Calendar Girls." I think my mom also caught "National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets" on TV a couple weeks ago and was inducted into the House of Mirren.

"Helen Mirren is really cool. She uses machine guns. It was over-the-top, but I think it was supposed to be. I didn't know Morgan Freeman was in it and it was awesome. I liked it."

It was only a few short weeks ago that my mom went to see "The King's Speech." SHE RAVED. "Mo, you need to see this movie. I can't believe you haven't seen it yet. Colin Firth is really good. And Helena Bonham Carter was really good. When she's sitting at the kitchen table? I completely forgot how evil she is to Harry. A lot of Harry Potter people in it, too. Helena plays Beatrice (Mom, it's Bellatrix), oh right, and Dumbledore was in it, and I didn't really realize that it was them at first. Just that they were familiar to me. Why hasn't Colin Firth been in a Harry Potter movie? Anyway, it was really good."

Then I saw the movie.

"Yeah mom, I liked it. I think I liked "Social Network" better, but that's probably a generational thing. Also, you forgot that Wormtail plays Winston Churchill."

"Oh you're right!"

(I talked to her after the Oscars and she was happy. "I watched the whole thing. I'm really glad 'The King's Speech' won. I wish that Colin Firth had made a better speech." I couldn't help but laugh at the irony that the "King" didn't make a decent speech in real life. ha.)

Then I talked to my mom (I have to call her everyday or she won't believe that still have a pulse. Those LA crazies will kill me any day now).

"Mo, I'm watching this Judi Dench thing on PBS, can i call you back in half an hour?"

"Sure, mom."

...30 minutes later...

"Sorry, it was this Masterpiece Theater thing and it was really good. Have you been watching PBS?"

"Not regularly."

"Can you find out when they're going to air 'Downton Abbey' again? I set a series recording for it and it said it was new, but I'm not getting any more recordings. Do you know when it's supposed to be on? Or what channel?"

"Mom, I thought you just said it was on PBS. What am I? TV Guide?"

"I don't know, you know things sometimes. I just really liked it and I can't find it."

"It's called Downton Abbey?"

"Yes, but they're British so they pronounce it 'DONton abbey.'"

Then some really awesome person caught wind of my mom's obsession and let her borrow the DVD set. I'm pretty sure my mom will watch them in a week. "There are only 3 discs, so I'll hopefully get through them pretty quick." I then found out that Maggie Smith is in this TV Series. Guess what? She plays the saucy Professor Minerva McGonagall in, you guessed: Harry Potter!

Hollywood, here's (apparently) the key to getting my mom to like your movies:

1. Be upbeat.

2. Have a defined ending.

3. Cast British actors.

4. Cast actors who have been in any and all Harry Potter movies.

5. Have me work on them.

My mom loves British people. I think it might be because she drinks Earl Grey religiously.

*Author's Note: My mom does not just sit around and watch TV and movies. She has a full time job with a 45 minute commute. She's not a professional movie critic, but she pretty much represents what people generally like. She's really smart and funny and she's been a mom for __ years (it can be measured in decades, but I don't want her to kill me for broadcasting a number). She's practical, awesome, and has a great outlook on life. And she likes movies (and TV and books).