Atlas Shrugged

"Mo, Sally* asked me to go see a movie with her on Friday."

"What movie?"

"Atlas or Alice Shrugged? Is that right?"

"Oh, Atlas Shrugged. I didn't know that was out yet."

"So it's 'Alice' like a woman's name?"

"No, it's 'Atlas' like a book of maps."

"And 'shrugged'?"

"Like 'I shrug my shoulders, but I already did it, so it's past tense.'"

"Well, that doesn't make any sense."

"Mom, it's an Ayn Rand book, I don't think it's supposed to make sense."

"Well I'll let you know how it is so you can update your blog."

"Thanks, mom."

I love that my mom likes to be blogged about. I also love that I have a cool mom that sees weird independent movies. That's, like, 2 independent movies she's seen in the theater in less than a month (Atlas Shrugged, Jane Eyre). I love how it's only after I've moved 2000 miles away that she goes to movies more often and more obscure than she ever would before. She has fallen in love with British series on BBC America and she's been reading Entertainment Weekly and referring to it in conversation with me (She has a life-long subscription to EW and Rolling Stone that I will never understand. They just started coming in her name to the house 6 years ago and haven't stopped since). My mom is way more with-it than I ever realized or give her credit for.

So, then she saw the movie:

"It was good."

"Yeah?"

"Well, it was better than I thought it would be... I'll put it that way."

"Well Mom, that's good, right?"

"Yeah and there was a blonde in it that I've seen in something before."

"Who?"

"I don't know her name. I think she was a nurse on a show that was cancelled. maybe on NBC?"

"Maybe it was 'Mercy'?"

"I don't know. She was the nurse with the drinking problem. Was that on 'Mercy'?"

"I didn't watch that show because it sucked, but it was probably that."

"Oh, well, yeah. Probably."

A search on imdb.com proves that my mom is right. I'm not sure about the drinking problem, but that 'Mercy' chick was in the movie.

*not her real name.

A Very Special Guest Reviewer

I talked to my grandma on the phone yesterday. This is a very rare thing because with the time difference our schedules tend to be out of sync. She did review a movie...

"Maureen, have you seen the movie In Open Country?"

"No... what's it about?"

"Well, it has someone called T-O-P-H-E-R Grace in it. Is he a big star?"

"I know who that is. He's a kind of known actor."

"Well, it's about people at a work place and who's sleeping with who, who's going to get fired, who's selling more stuff..."

"Did you like it?"

"I was the only one who showed up to watch it. It was okay."

"Grandma, you're VIP. It's like you had your own private movie screening."

"I suppose so. It was just okay, though."

After thinking about this, I realized that my grandma had seen the movie In Good Company starring Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace, and Scarlett Johansson. In all honesty, her review is pretty spot-on.

Secretariat

"I liked that movie."

"Of course you did, Mom. It's about a horse."

"Have you seen it?"

"No."

"Normally I don't think I like Diana Lane, but I liked her in this. The ending was predictable, but I liked it. Mo, when you see this movie, you're the horse and I'm telling you to 'run your race.'"

"Ok, Mom..."

"You'll get it when you see it."

My mom called me a horse today. But I think it was meant as a compliment. Or at least a metaphor... I think...

The Mermaid Chair

"Mo, I really like this book, The Mermaid Chair. Have I read any other books by Sue Monk Kidd? Her writing seems familiar."

"I don't know."

"I think she was grew up in the South because that's the stuff she writes about. I like the way she writes. It's good."

"Oh, I bet she's the author of The Secret Life of Bees."

"I loved that book. And the movie. Are they making this book into a movie?"

"I don't know. Probably."

"It's really great. This woman has to take care of her mother, who is off, I guess and she meets this monk and... It's just really good."

"Well, I'm glad you like it, mom."

"I do. What other books has she written? Can you add them to my queue?"

Jane Eyre

(This entire conversation transpired when I called my mom drunk. I have to call her every night when I get home - regardless of the hour. Needless to say, I woke her up.)

"Hi Mom, I'm home."

"Did you you have fun?(YAAAAWWWNNN) Are you snockered?" (my mom makes up different adjectives for being inebriated.)

"I'm okay. A little tipsy."

"I went to the movies with Sally*. We saw 'Jane Eyre.'"

"Oh, how was it?"

"That Mia Was--watsherface is so skinny."

"Yeah. She's good though. 'Alice in Wonderland' and everything. Mia Wasikowska."

"Yeah it was good. We liked it."

"Of course you did, Mom. It's about British people."

*not her real name

My Mom Reviews the Blog of Her Reviews

So my mom has read this blog. I think a grand total of two times.

"You make me funnier than I really am."

"Mom, you're funny. You really do say this stuff."

"Well, you write it the right way."

Granted, my mom is MY mom, so she thinks pretty much everything I do is great. Except for getting a tattoo, which she was not thrilled about, but liked the actual image. She wasn't happy about me going blonde, but she accepted the fact that I'll return to my natural color in the future. This blog is pretty great. and random. What will my mom watch or read next? I honestly have no idea. But she really likes that "Blue Bloods" show. I'm going to tease her that she's in love with Magnum, P.I. (How does one become a P.I.? I think I would like to be Mo, P.I. Is there a course at the community college?)

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief

"You were right about 'Percy Jackson.'"

"I was?"

"It's like a Harry Potter impersonator, but I didn't know that Ina Kateides- What's her name? The "CSI" "Providence" girl?"

"Oh, you mean Melina Kanakaredes?"

"That's it! She's in it."

"I didn't know that."

"It's not terrible, but it's not Harry Potter. I just love my Harry. But it was okay. Tomorrow I'm going to watch that Rambow [Son of Rambow] movie you sent me. Goodnight, honey."